Going with the Flow

Susquehanna River, 2016

Here we are, just saying hello. I've lost the thread and won't say that I have picked it up again, but will make an effort in that direction. The humid weight of summer weighs down, one day at a time, until there are no days left. As the last days of July flow into August, the light and leaves turn dusky with time. There is only this as it always has been, as the pull of summer tries to eke out one more day, or many. Thirsty to hold as much water in my hands as I can, I know it won't wait for me. 

Flowers in Winter, Or Always

It had been a while since we layered up and hiked into the woods, just a little amble through the Michaux. The kids were cute and held hands and fell down a few times. 

Winter is always a mental challenge for me because there is so little green and so much brown. But there were still moments of beauty among the pervasive brownness of the woods at this time of year. 

But still, look at the flowers!

I liked getting lost in the reflection of this little pool...

...and in a pile of rocks. I'm wondering how closeup my camera will go?

And then at the end, some old dessicated pumpkins made a nice arrangement. 

The woods surprised me with more than I expected. I wonder, if I walked forward with delight,

how often I would see flowers everywhere?

In Memory of...

This may seem like a sad post, but it is not. I have written a few of those over the last few years mostly about clients or parents of clients who have passed away. A sudden death of someone not-so-close always strikes me as an opportunity to sing that worn but true song of being grateful for the people around you - the ones who love you and who are alive.

This person was not someone I knew although I have a connection through one of my clients. I am struck with the finality of it all, and how it just can't be taken back. I looked at my own kids this weekend, probably a bit too long, trying to memorize the details of their faces and the lines of their limbs and fingers. I hugged them for a few more seconds than usual. I tucked little gal in for the night for much longer than was actually necessary. 

But this is what there is. This happens sometimes, and we go on until there is something else. I guess this post is a little sad after all. 

We Did It.

That's right, we put a lid on 2012. Wrapped it up with a tidy bow and sent it on its way. Some people came and some went. There were new things and things that stayed the same. I love the promise of the new year, when it's fresh, sparkling, and yet-to-be opened. Let's see what happens!

108/366 Like It Says On My Road ID, Now Is The Time!

So far this month has been crazy, full of people falling ill and people falling out of trees. I'm pretty freaked out. What if I don't get the chance to work on my bucket list, or even to make a bucket list? I have started to worry about the house burning down when we are at work. I have figured out that our young lady L will not always be little, although it makes me very happy to see her effortless wonder and joy. She reminds me to be silly. ...that it is ok to run around the house like a madwoman with a baby blanket around your shoulders like a cape ... that sometimes you are supposed to name tadpoles Lily, Rose, and Lily Rose. At bedtime she still wants a story and a snuggle, and when she falls asleep holding my hand it makes me want to cry with sweetness. 

I didn't mean for this post to be about the kid, but that's where it ended up. I guess I am taking from this the the idea of paying attention to what is in front of you, every day, even the smallest things. Maybe especially the smallest things. 

picture borrowed from the plum village website

53/366 These Are Someone's Kids

It has been a rough week around the old workplace. One client passed away unexpectedly although by his own doing, leaving ... um, what? Nothing in his wake but a sad story? Another client just wanted someone to pay attention to her, to care about her for a little while. Her choices had less fatal results and she seems to be fine, for now. A caseworker is not supposed to be the person she turns to when it all seems dark! I guess i am just struck with how dispensable this part of the population seems to be. Of course there are always circumstances, like dad has his own problems and just can't handle the behaviors any more, or mom is tired of working and fighting and being fucked with herself, or whatever it is. My mind is searching for where to put the blame, but it also doesn't seem like that is the point. Is what i do enough? What am i not doing? I love my own kids and cannot conceive of how a parent could pretty much set their kid aside..."good luck kiddo, see you later, maybe..." This is all over the place, I realize, but that's ok, I guess. There's no way to wrap it up with a tidy bow. 

51/366

we found this in the parking lot and couldn't stop looking. little one called for help, as in "hey, we need someone to bury this bird!" i told her that if anyone was going to do it, we would have to. 

but we didn't, we left him where he was. what is there really to say about it?

life is beautiful and then you die? seize the day because you might run into a windshield?

my headspins with wordsof wonderandfull,

and thank you.  

Time is tight. Best to get moving.

 "Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed that is. Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose." - Yoda

check it out

this flower, red butterfly, green pesto

what to do?

reflections found here

fun with picasa

fun with reality

morning in the michaux

our hood

just because.

I got stuck in trying to make a wonderful and celebratory birthday post but was unable to make one that was quite so, and so I ended up here. I like that a number of these pictures are just about playing. With the old 35 mm pictures there was the option of being a purist who without the ability to alter, tint, and transmogrify  had to depend on the image to be what it would be. Not so much of that these days! 

This year more than any other I can remember with my now fading and aged brain, I have been struck with so many moments of beauty...in my world here and in those people that I have come across on the way.