We Took A Trip to the City, Four Years Later

We visited the Native American Museum in Washington DC where we have been several times before, although with a much smaller kid. Always fun to recreate past moments when you can, and I love that she can be counted on for a cheerful outfit. This time, we took a new family member who is really short, but totally ready to embrace the world around him. It was a very good day! There was a carousel ride, a brownie cupcake, a parade with big drums, and remarkably few tears. It was good to get out. As always, the nimble-fairy was her usual lovely self. 

Apparently little gal is very fascinated by large bodies of water. It was a perfect day. 

In Memory of...

This may seem like a sad post, but it is not. I have written a few of those over the last few years mostly about clients or parents of clients who have passed away. A sudden death of someone not-so-close always strikes me as an opportunity to sing that worn but true song of being grateful for the people around you - the ones who love you and who are alive.

This person was not someone I knew although I have a connection through one of my clients. I am struck with the finality of it all, and how it just can't be taken back. I looked at my own kids this weekend, probably a bit too long, trying to memorize the details of their faces and the lines of their limbs and fingers. I hugged them for a few more seconds than usual. I tucked little gal in for the night for much longer than was actually necessary. 

But this is what there is. This happens sometimes, and we go on until there is something else. I guess this post is a little sad after all. 

Ahhh.

Thank you. 

Mother's Day Hike

One young son made the trip from the big city back to old timey town for a mother's day visit. Second annual mother's day hike! Not everyone went but it was still fun. 

Little gal was especially happy to see her big brother. I love how the almost-fourteen years between them doesn't matter one bit, and they are able to meet somewhere in the middle of things. 

My little brother and I were close like that too even though there wasn't quite as much time between us. I could always tell him what I needed to tell him and I knew he would be true. It's the coolest to see that kind of connection between your kids, too...aww, I'm getting all mushy. 

 Hope you had a great mother's day, but that is every day, right? 

My Ideal Self?

do you notice how much lower the sun is from start to finish? this was a long hike at first estimated to be about an hour but stretched long into the fall of afternoon. 

We Took A Mother's Day Trip to the Woods

It was great. Both of my super-duper awesome kids, the woods, and a beautiful day. We conquered the calf-burning start of the trail and then got to the good stuff, with one kid sprinting ahead and the other one looking for bugs and forest cucumbers (I think you will know who is who). There were just enough teaberries to go around and plenty of opportunity for sprinting. Little one started talking about her dreams and also nightmares, which she claims to have every night, and then she said, "the worst one of all is when the vampire tries to eat Scooby-Dooby-Doo," which made everyone crack up. That is just the coolest, that the worst bad dream ever has a cartoon dog in it. I think everyone had a good time floating under the canopy of the green tunnel and talking about future hikes. We ended up at a great AT shelter with flowers, it really has flowers! As noted above the mountain laurel is also almost in bloom. It was a perfect day, 5.2 miles of loveliness. 

The Wednesday After Father's Day

On the trail with Paul G I was glad for effortless moments 

 Of being the people we have become, without judgement, or at least none that I noticed. 

 Overcast, fluid, quiet with conversation, enlightening, 

small fish and one big fish in the shallows, 

This will not last, it will fall to what is now known as the past to us. Our dragonfly while calm and perfect had lost his spark. But yet, he hangs on to impart something maybe lasting if the circumstances are good and if we are looking and ready. 

It's all smooth sailing from here

Grow old with me!  The best is yet to be.  ~Robert Browning

Our Tosh turns twenty-one! I remember thinking, when he was born, about how cool it would be to be such a young mom - when he turns eighteen I will only be thirty-six! The years since then have been swift and cloudless, the way I think of my own childhood. It always seemed if I couldn't recall any difficulty or stress or hairy moments, then it must have been a damn good time. 

I wonder what Tosh thinks when looking back at his childhood. Was it as good as I remember it for him? Does he remember laughing? Does he remember making tiny bike ramps and struggling to drop in? Does he remember hikes and snuggling on the couch?

In many ways I grew up with Tosh. Being his mom gave me the opportunity to be a grown up shall we say, at an accelerated pace. In that way my mind plays tricks sometimes, when I can't separate moments of my youth from his. But that is okay, because it reminds me that he has been part of me the longest, and I have always been grateful to know and love this sweet, loving, happy boy who is still the same, only now a man. Happy Birthday Tosh!

I am grateful for all this snow. Winter is tough enough with all its cold and dreariness, but a big load of snow has always had the capacity to just plain-old make me feel better. The fallow fields that surround our home have surrendered their muddy brown coats in favor of a bright drapery of light. Our persistent gray sky has met its match, for now at least. The silhouettes of trees that perennially catch my eye are made that much more lovely, and clear.

On a morning when the sun breaks through, at first all I can see is the expanse of snow. There is largeness and weight to contend with, but that is not what I came here for.


The last few days I have begun to notice the birds more. The small ones for the most part, like our pair of cardinals, but there is also the arc of a red-tailed hawk as he makes his rounds. I never see him but understand that he is saying, pay attention.

This is what there is.

I went away and then returned

We took a quick trip to Philadelphia this weekend to visit my brother Adam’s shop, which was part of POST. It’s always a pleasure to visit and soak up the energy and enthusiasm of the city. I am enthralled by those who have centered themselves around a creative life.

On the turnpike home, I found myself not sure that I wanted to return, as if I could reorient my life, real quick, to living in an urban environment…I could live in a loft space, cook on one burner, get used to having enough floor space to take up unicycling, right? My compact life in the county seemed pale and somehow shrunken, as in, what’s the point? What am I really doing here anyway?

We were back home by early afternoon Sunday after picking up the kid and settled in to enjoy what was left of a sunny fall afternoon. She was happy to see us and struggled to put her overnight trip to Grammy’s into words. She finally ended up with, “When I was at Grammy’s, I felt kind of bad, like I was homeless.” After another thoughtful pause, she added, “but only at nighttime.” This crushed me. As if there had been any doubt in my mind what I was returning to. I remembered that we go away, and then we return to the people and place that makes up our home. Hopefully we bring some new ideas or inspiration with us. Whether we do or not, I’m reminded to be grateful for my compact life, no matter how pale it seems next to the shiny city. It’s full of the right things.