I went away and then returned

We took a quick trip to Philadelphia this weekend to visit my brother Adam’s shop, which was part of POST. It’s always a pleasure to visit and soak up the energy and enthusiasm of the city. I am enthralled by those who have centered themselves around a creative life.

On the turnpike home, I found myself not sure that I wanted to return, as if I could reorient my life, real quick, to living in an urban environment…I could live in a loft space, cook on one burner, get used to having enough floor space to take up unicycling, right? My compact life in the county seemed pale and somehow shrunken, as in, what’s the point? What am I really doing here anyway?

We were back home by early afternoon Sunday after picking up the kid and settled in to enjoy what was left of a sunny fall afternoon. She was happy to see us and struggled to put her overnight trip to Grammy’s into words. She finally ended up with, “When I was at Grammy’s, I felt kind of bad, like I was homeless.” After another thoughtful pause, she added, “but only at nighttime.” This crushed me. As if there had been any doubt in my mind what I was returning to. I remembered that we go away, and then we return to the people and place that makes up our home. Hopefully we bring some new ideas or inspiration with us. Whether we do or not, I’m reminded to be grateful for my compact life, no matter how pale it seems next to the shiny city. It’s full of the right things.